Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Running Bras
I had a traumatic experience this weekend in the dressing room of a local Sports Authority. I went to the beach to do my long run, and I remembered to bring EVERYTHING but a running bra. No problem, I thought. I'll go shopping! Who can ever have enough running bras?
Inside the store, I tried on three different kinds. I figured that since I was already there, I may as well check out all that the store had to offer in chest support. I would have tried on more than that if I hadn't gotten stuck in one of the bras. No kidding.
This particular bra had a zipper front. I didn't think anything of it as I pushed and shoved my body parts into it. The problem didn't occur until I wanted out. The zipper came off track and I could not get it to unzip. I could not get out!! I began sweating as if I had already run that scheduled ten-miler. The dressing room was also dark and I started having a panic attack thinking that I could be there for a long while. How long until someone missed me? Would I need paramedics to release me? And how would that look?
I used my cell phone to call my fiance and tell him I couldn't get out of my bra (I really don't know what I expected him to do about it). I guess I wanted him to know where I was and why I was taking so long. He asked me if I wanted him to come and get me out of the bra.
"No!" I said. I stood in the dressing room facing the mirror, my hair standing on end, one breast hanging below the bra line, the other one stuck up somewhere inside. My hand holding the phone to my ear. The whole painful thing had me laughing and crying. I would rather have paramedics come and cut me out of the thing. Strangers. I didn't want the love of my life to see me so...indisposed...in such a compromised position. He'd never be able to look at me without laughing again!
Honestly, neither idea sounded appealing to me. I mustered all of my strength and hulked out, hearing a very distinct ripping sound. But I was free! Yes!
Hanging the bra upon its hanger, I noticed the forlorn thing looked as if it had been in a terrible battle, although I couldn't find a rip of any kind in it. It hung lopsided and sad, the zipper still skewed. I didn't look much better. My hair was in a tangle and my face red and scratched from forcing the zipper over my head.
Who needs that, Ladies? I am now on a mission for finding the right running bra. Running Center, here I come. Get your selection of bras ready!! No zippers, please.
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